|Web Community Ghost Town
||[13 Oct 2009|11:36am]
Virtual tumbleweeds roll aimlessly
knocking on the doors of empty electronic saloons
the schoolhouse door propped open by a mound of dust
reveals petrified avatar shit on the floor
Nothing but ghosts in this machine, now
404, but we just don't know it yet
||[14 Feb 2009|12:26pm]
There's one less star in the sky tonight
And what remains can't shine as bright
There's a dark corner in the forest
Where your light used to shine
And I can't seem to find my way
Without your light.
|Matt Friction Touched My Junk
||[01 Feb 2009|10:35am]
*based on a true story!*
On Saturday I saw the Pink Spiders,
and Matt Friction was really quite drunk.
After the show he wanted us to stay,
to do drugs and touch each others junk.
He asked us where he could score some coke,
but we hadn't the slightest clue.
Despite this fact, had he had the chance,
he probably would have attached us with glue.
Stacie told him a knock knock joke,
and he was anything but quick to understand,
he thought that she was requesting
a song made famous by his band.
He took us backstage and told us to wait,
after we said that we had to leave.
"You can't go! You've got to stay,
and do hardcore drugs with me!".
He tried to stop us on our way out,
I'm not even going to fake it.
He wanted to go to the bathrooms,
so he could see what we all looked like naked.
Then we left.
||[20 Sep 2006|04:22pm]
Dingoes in the dark
are like pringles to a shark
Waffles in the wild
are like muppets
and miniature pancakes
||[20 Sep 2006|02:43pm]
Robot Kaboom made a sugarless futon
he loves to go swimming
with fatherless fishes
and thinks that fast food is for jerks
Robot Kaboom eats fiasco nut salad
he's a wonderful role model
for turtles under 30
and suspects that his job has no perks
Robot Kaboom collects anodyzed tassles
he restores small cabinets
with amphibious motifs
and believes that all quarks have their quirks.
|On Pluto, Charon, and Xena
||[29 Aug 2006|04:39pm]
For Pluto, Charon, and Xena
Oh tiny iceball, cold and quiet, orbit all eccentric
your planetary status gone how must you feel anon?
Abandoned to the stygian depths of outer heliospheric
wand'ring orphaned from the loving family you have always known
Oh frigid mass of rock and ice, lopsided as a lump of poo
there's barely sun enough to warm your aching icy heart
and now rejection looms to grab the status back that you
have barely had - you weren't a planet from the start
On, slowly marking time celestial, spinning hidden from our sight
'til once again, you come around and give Neptune a kiss
Perhaps by then, we'll all agree and in the twinkling starlight
have ice cream cake and diet pop and laugh about all this
||[04 Apr 2006|04:00pm]
A haiku in commeration of the 3rd 2nd Annual Grilled Cheese Invitational:
Gruyere melts slowly
Bread browns crisp in fine butter
||[27 Feb 2006|11:49am]
Why do tacos
come from Taco Bell
and Fried C
but Panda Express
does not serve panda?
Not only that,
they don't even serve
But wait, you say...
they serve bamboo shoots,
Shut your white ass up,
I know kung fu.
I will own a panda
and I will call it
and he'll be
the baddest panda
since Jim Kelly.
||[21 Feb 2006|10:54am]
Ode to the Beats
The cheese of a new generation
In the streets
I scrape its
with my attitude
||[19 Feb 2006|05:32pm]
Traffic: a haiku
The cars do not move
some one has dropped their mattress
101 rush hour
||[19 Feb 2006|05:03pm]
Hurling the pork rinds to the table
He dons his toupee.
Where is the Etch-a-Sketch?
He dons his toupee
As she cantilevers up her double-D's
Does the house detective wonder?
As she cantilevers up her double-D's
They pray to see the sun rise over Newark
Is this the blanket?
They pray to see the sunrise
Etch-a-Sketch wonder blanket
wrapped around their flabby limbs.
||[19 Feb 2006|04:59pm]
I dare not stand
I dare not turn
pursues me with his glove of despair
||[28 Dec 2005|12:42am]
Hiss hiss hiss
Flaffpa flaffpa flaffpa
Oh shit, she's pissed.
|First Post Here: "Fishie"--- a children's poem gone wrong.
||[02 Dec 2005|12:56am]
That's a dumb name for a
I'm gonna tell my dad he's gonna
Find a better suited and more fishy fishie name
If fishie gets mad fun of I don't want to be to blame!
That seems rather pretentious for a
But who am I to say?
I use two legs ev'ryday to get where I must go
So bipedal's the only kind of politics I know!
Ev'rybody needs a name...
it's not just you and me
It helps you out on legal forms,
and with general identity...
That's a good name for a
Only if you're a fish
and you are
and you will always be
a friend of mine
no matter how much success you have
in adult film
Fishie you will always be a friend
No matter what's your name
Until you're flushed some morning,
this is the same.
This was, at first, a song I wrote as a joke, once the prospect of playing at concerts with people who 'took music seriously' came up, but I never performed this song.
||[22 Nov 2005|03:57pm]
You are the wednesday of life
a turtle turd of tepid
floats among moist mushrooms of hope and
quiet velvet lamps
in an intestinal river
of love mucus.
Laugh! because your hair chokes
a thousand children
in swarms of bile biting
and laugh because
the bird vomited
and meant it
inspired by the poetry of Sam Vaknin, the worst poet in history: http://samvak.tripod.com/contents.html
|ill conceived cheerleader chants
||[11 Nov 2005|07:19am]
Two! Four! Six! Eight!
How much do you masturbate?
Three times? Four times?
Five times a day?
|Snakes Save Cash
||[11 Oct 2005|08:14pm]
There's a hole in the ground,
and when the rain falls down
it's muddy, warm and wet,
so don't ya just bet
it'd make a good substitute
for a prostitute?
|Today is the first day of the end of your life.
||[04 Oct 2005|09:04am]
Inside the swirling tide of me
is nothing but a great black sea
drowning the arms stretched out from me
that swims in strokes just to be free.
And though each day to life I plea,
no one listens but Death you see,
and alone my soul sinks in debris
locked in boxes with thrown away keys.
But soon one day I’ll wash ashore,
and the light above will burn my core,
but still all around will choose to ignore
a buried treasure no one explores.
So the sand and salt will hide my frown;
under crushing weight I can only drown
and I’ll hear from souls no other sound,
as storms arrive, and the rain falls down.
Then my crusty mold will turn to mud,
spilling out like dookie blood
that others seek to cleanse with suds.
Why do they hate me like the floods?
Oh woe oh woe oh woe is me,
though said three times, it brings no glee,
for life is just a black dark sea
that pulls you down like a loud banshee,
and forces me to just agree
that I am stuck here like a tree,
an armless swimming amputee
lost all alone in the great black sea.
||[22 Jan 2005|04:55pm]
lillian my reptillian
with your lips of bright vermillion
Let us climb the hill again
Lillian my reptillion
With your eyes of bubbling bullion
let us sway ,away,cotillion
Lillian my reptillian
With your tounges of tuned oblivion
As we bow down to the gwyllion
Will we ever win
||[19 Jan 2005|07:04pm]
so much weight, this burden i carry.
the gravity drags me down,
sweat clumping the hairy parts.
so much for wanting big balls.